My BIG Confession

Pronounce the K (JP Knapic) 32 years old
Originally from Buffalo, NY and has lived in Boston, MA since 2008.

My name is JP, and I have a confession……….

I binge eat.

I have a big ass and sometimes wear pants that are probably considered too small.

I’ve always considered pizza & ice cream as separate and essential components of the food pyramid

I lie about my weight.

I AM (ladies and gentlemen) a bonafide out-of-the-womb FAT BOY.

 

Confessions of a Fat Boy is a lifestyle blog that aims to share an authentic experience of a larger than average guy living in a society where shame and prejudice are easily based on appearances that differ from the men that appear in the pages of GQ, Men’s Health, and Details. Here are some examples…….

ABS! YOU NEED TO HAVE ABS!!!

Because this is exactly what me and my guys friends look like on a casual weekend day. Nice abs bro!

I just hate when I forget my shirt! Good thing I have these abs!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Women have been subjected to this unfair standard since the dawn of time, but over the last decade or two, men have also been increasingly pressured to attain and maintain a certain look and standard to indicate that they are worthy, highly functional, dare I say perfect members of society. Don’t meet one of these requisites??!! You’re just basic and deserve less…… (money, adoration, options, etc etc etc.)

From as early as I can remember growing up I have always been described by the following words or some iteration there of:

• husky
• chubby
• fat
• chunky
• overweight
• thick
• big-boned etc. etc. etc.

And now that I am well into adulthood I still find my self haunted by those same words when I look in the mirror, except a few more have been added to the list like bear, stocky, bubba, big-guy, meaty (ew!) and a few more that I’ll let your imagination take you away with.

As of September 3, 2014 I weigh 260lbs. At one point in my life this would depress me, but now I embrace it.

Weight has and always will be a struggle of mine, I accepted that when I turned 30 years- old two years ago. And with that revelation came questions…..lots of questions….. stressful questions:

• Will I ever be happy with my appearance?
• Am I becoming too obsessed with my physical image?
• How can I control my eating habits?
• Do I have to eliminate pizza & ice cream from my diet permanently?
• Skinny Jeans?!
• Why does this have to be so hard?
• Do some guys really have an 8-pack?
• Is this really an XL shirt because it fits like a medium?
• Is my self-worth soley based on the number on a scale or waist size?

The mania that came from that revelation sparked an interest in self affirmation for me that now at 32 I am ready to start sharing some of the components and strategies that work best for me, and may for you too. This self affirming mind set has not allowed the unattainable images that tell me my “six-pack is 15 minutes away” to construct or influence how I define my health, happiness, and wellness goals.

Although I weigh 260lbs I’ve worked with a certified health coach, nutritionist, and trainer to create sustainable fitness plans and lifestyle habits that promote healthy goals with realistic expectations.  I’m still a work in progress, but it’s inspired me to quit drinking alcohol for an entire year (this blog, formerly My So-Called Sober Life, chronicled that experience before transforming into COAFB). Check out A Year of Sobriety for previous posts!

One goal of this blog is that I want to share my progress and provide exercise routines, nutrition-rich recipes and health tips that work, and let you know about some that you don’t need to waste your time on. It’s not about striving for those unattainable abs that my husky frame has hiding somewhere, so if you’re looking for those choose from any of the magazines I mentioned earlier.

 

I’ve also embraced my inner fashionista, not allowing current trends (skinny jeans…. go f*** yourself) or size-ist fashion industry standards from honing my own personal style and exploring looks I once thought were only for the models worthy of fashion. Working for Banana Republic for the majority of my twenties along with having the “gay jean” (pun intended) have convinced me that fashion, more importantly personal style, is a great outlet for expressing happiness and confidence through clothing; clothing that unfortunately for me is not easy to come by. Finding clothes that fit well and work with my body type is sometimes SO FRUSTRATING! From the countless hours I’ve spent in fitting rooms trying on unfair amounts and types of cuts and styles of various clothing items (mostly pants and shirts) I want to save men with similar body types the trouble of spending an entire Saturday at the mall only to leave with cargo shorts and “punny t’s”

If you’re a female reading this….. I hope you find this humorous for obvious reasons! #firstworldmaleproblems

Side note: In the gay community I’m considered a bear, a term “affectionately” adorned to bearded, hairy men with bigger waist sizes. A typical stereotype of that community is that bears only wear cargo shorts and “Cat Puns Freak MEOWT” t-shirts. Some bears are perfectly (and respectably) fine with their “Camping is In-Tents!!!!” t-shirts, but I have had more than enough conversations to know that many “bears,” including myself. They are ready to dress-to-impress, but more importantly feel good in their clothing. I’m excited to share my expertise and keep exploring.

And as I manage my head space between planning in workouts and enjoying the benefits of extensive retail therapy, professionally I work for Harvard University’s Extension School as a marketing coordinator. I love that I get to work almost daily with digital technology and social media, and I am always searching for innovative, savvy, (hopefully fun) ways to integrate these components into my day-to-day. It makes sense! If I can trust a mobile device to deposit a check into my bank account, then I think it’s worth considering an app that will help track fitness goals, or one that gives access to reading this blog (and others) right from the convenience of my phone (hint hint: download the WordPress App)

I hope that my overall experience and future experiences provide you with inspiration, tools, knowledge, energy, and confidence to confront your fears and insecurities (whatever they may be) head on! I may be a fat boy, but I’m a healthy, well-dressed, and above all else happy fat boy.

Thanks for reading and subscribing to Confessions of a Fat Boy. 🙂

Cheers~

Pronounce the K

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