Confession 8: My (Thanksgiving) Solitude Challenge

Over this Thanksgiving holiday weekend I took up the Solitude Challenge from a friend of mine challenging me to turn off everything – phones, TV, laptops, etc. – and spend 30 minutes in solitude with myself in an isolated space.

I knew from the get go, this was going to be tough! Not having a cell phone in reach would be somewhat equivalent to what I would consider losing my hand. But always an optimist I decided to give it my all!

We’ve all had moments like these…… (maybe not as intense)

The challenge is to really just be with one’s self and either meditate, self-dialogue (maybe not out loud so, by chance if anyone is near, they won’t think you’re crazy), or just simply “be” and take in the surroundings.

Since I would be void of my social media world I decided to I reflect a little about something I did over this past week that I have never done before — I volunteered on Thanksgiving. I am not a bragger, more of a “self-depricater”, but as I sat there I really began to embrace the sense of pride I felt about that day, and immediately wanted to tell someone about it….. but that was about 5 minutes in to the solitude challenge so I had to contain myself.

I think the aspect I am most proud of is that although I’ve volunteered before on many occasions, it was never on a holiday, and this time even my pride felt different.

At this point, 10 minutes in, the solitude challenge was paying off in gold. My brain was just pinging back and forth with my heart. And it’s within those first 10 minutes that I unlocked why this time my pride felt different –

sacrificing one’s time is one thing, sacrificing tradition is another.

And as the solitude challenge moved forward I wanted to burst into speech about why volunteering on a holiday would be such a life enriching experience, but since there were 20 minutes left I decided then and there to save it for the blog post.

I volunteered at the New England Center for Homeless Veterans in downtown Boston, and it is a day that I will not soon forget. Here are a few reasons I think sacrificing tradition can be so enriching…..

You can start a new (family) tradition

I was amazed at how many family groups were there volunteering together for their 3rd or 4th year. What started out as mom and dad in year 1 was now mom, dad, siblings, and in-laws volunteering in year 4. Although this day is about service to others it makes it a little more special when you’re doing it with those you love because you literally, in that very moment, collectively realize just how much you have and probably take for granted.

Humbling but oh, so powerful.

And for those who simply cannot forgo their current family tradition

The period of time is not as long as most think. Shockingly I only had to be there from 12:30pm – 4:00pm. 3 and 1/2 hours, that’s just enough time to feel like you did something worthwhile.

So you technically can have both, just push your tradition back a few hours. I know the day is full of prep, but does Thanksgiving really have to be “Martha Stewart” worthy? (shhhh don’t tell her I said that). Save that for another occasion to show of your culinary and hosting skills.

It’s a day filled with stories!

Some inspirational, some downright heartbreaking. The stories that some of these men shared on Thanksgiving certainly broaden my horizons.

I was surprised at how happy and gracious many of these men were at the homeless shelter. Because of the stereotypes associated with these domestic warriors I was certain there would be much more hostility due to their own pride, and there were some. But the smiles and handshakes and willingness to share stories was refreshing.

Adrian, and 67 year old, miniature Hagrid from Harry Potter was the highlight of my day. He’s pretty down on his life, but smiles incessantly. He lamented how he’s ashamed of letting himself go from his 26″ inch waist youth to what I now gathered was a healthy 46″ inch. At times his boot-camp humor came out with cheeky little phrases that are more NC-17 than PG-13.  All at once he warmed and broke my heart.

Colin, a 29 year old, handsome young man, although stand-off-ish at first, finally came around once I offered to grab him some pumpkin pie from the the dessert table. My mom raised me smart- food, especially the indulgent kind, will make any man open up. It’s a wonder though why I am such a lousy cook.

Colin’s story hit home. He was my age, had some issues with addiction, but he still loved Thanksgiving day football. During minute 22 of the solitude challenge I found myself getting a little choked up thinking of Colin, mainly thinking that could very well be my life. Talk about a gut-check. The rise of young homeless veterans is staggering!

I take for granted that I even have tradition to fall back on, Colin still has a long road ahead of him until perhaps he is stable enough to create some traditions of his own.

 It will inspire you to do more……

I may not have completely understood, nor successfully completed the solitude challenge, however I did go phone-and-social-interaction-free for an entire 30 minutes! Yay me?!

Even though I successfully completed the exercise, after reflecting on a day where I interacted on a much more personal level, having a cell phone to turn to did not offer any comfort what so ever. It just didn’t seem like it mattered.

And as I evolve my lifestyle to be the best version of myself, it’s great to have experiences and reflection that ground us. Lifestyle is so much more than style, fashion, fitness, culinary aptitude (which I lack) etc.

It’s about cultivating a sense of self that is willing to sacrifice, now and again, even the truly important stuff or what we perceive to be important. It’s about humbling one-self to put them-self in someone else’s shoes to gain a more compassionate perspective for others.

And if that is what the Solitude Challenge helped me realize then maybe it was a success after all!

Me in my volunteer garb from Thanksgiving. HOT! (no literally it was super hot in there and that flannel did not help!)